What if ?


What if...

You go someplace everyday, and you always run into a person who insists on telling you everything that is wrong with you. I mean EVERYTHING, from your physical appearance, to your personality, to your whole life. The next day you have the opportunity to avoid that person...but you do not. You continue your normal route and take in all the harsh criticism. This goes on for many years, and everyday it is something new.

Six years go by, and you are married to the most beautiful girl you have ever laid eyes on, you have a job which you truly and unconditionally love doing, not to mention it also pays well. You have the best group of friends anyone can ask for, and everyone wishes they were like you in every way.

Your routine hasn't changed as you continue your same route. You run into him again..this time, he completely ran out of things to say. So instead he apologizes for giving you all that s*** over the years. He tells you what a horrible person he is for being so mean to you, and for putting you down. He begins to walk away and you say "wait"

"Had it not been for your constant put downs, and cruel thoughts, I wouldn't be who I am today. I was a very self conscious person, and everything you told me hurt..a lot. I would go home every night and drown in sorrow. One day, I decided to act on it, and every thing you told me that was 'wrong' about me, I fixed it. I really fixed it, and made it "not wrong". You said my clothes suck, I got ones that didn't suck. You said I have hygiene issues, I took care of them. You said I am dumb, I studied. You said no one would ever love me, I learned attraction. You said I would never land a good job, I started from the bottom. You said my life would suck, it doesn't. You see, everything you have told me, I reacted on, and I changed that certain aspect of my life. Without you, I would have never, ever fixed those things, and I would be the same pathetic deadbeat I was 6 years ago, so I sincerely want to thank you, for being such an a**hole to me."

His wife then walks in and asks "who are you talking to honey?"

He then looks away from the mirror and with a smile says "nobody hun, nobody at all"

—Sherafgan Khan
Copyright 2007 ©

This little story makes me think about how most people treat themselves.  There is a quote that I have heard that goes something like this: “if we treated other people like we treat ourselves, we would all be in prison.”

Many people will openly admit, whether they are happy with their lives and their accomplishments or not, “I am harder on myself than anyone else ever is.”

Why do we do this?  Where does it come from?  What could you do differently?

I have an exercise for you, if you are up for something a little different.  Each morning this week, as you get ready for your day and go through your daily routine of washing, grooming, brushing, etc. add something to your routine.  Look at that person staring back at you and tell them just how special they are and spend no less than three minutes complimenting them on all the things that you like and admire about them.

Some helpful tips: 

Do it with a smile. 

Feel the emotions of how good you are as you say them. 

Look for the things that other people see in you.

Thank yourself for things you have done.

Look for the not so obvious things.  Getting up on time, making the rent payment on time, driving your child to school, etc.

Stephen Schmitt

Please share your stories of how this impacts you, so we can move forward together.


Ready for something different?